10 really bad excuses to take a day off from work.

1) Roomie did not wake you up so you terribly overslept after last night’s house party.

2) You cannot find anything to wear to work; all your clothes are with the isthri walla whose shop is unfortunately shut today.

3) You have a pain in the arse, so must urgently visit the piles clinic.

4) There’s a mini-tsunami happening in your house right now as your kid broke the pipe last night with a cricket bat, and the plumber is not answering your calls.

5) Your parents just told you that you were adopted so you need the day off to cry your heart out.

6) Your maid was bitten by the stray dog in your building so it is your moral duty to take her to the hospital, get her a rabies shot and drive her back home.

7) You have to join a protest against someone cutting down a tree in your lane and save the family of sparrows that has built a nest in it.

8) Your cat stepped on your glasses and broke it, now you cannot even find your cat in the house without them.

9) Your girlfriend is pregnant.

10) Someone has hacked in to your Wifi at home so you have to report it to the Cyber Crime Investigation Cell and contribute to the prevention of a possible attack by the Mujahideen terror group.

Things you buy, but never use.

Our innermost desire to flaunt affluence makes us buy things that we don’t use for the purpose the things were bought for, but they come in handy someway or the other eventually.

Dining Table
This becomes a shelf/rack/surface for keys, fruits, newspapers and any other item that you carry in your hand while entering your house or room that you would like to quickly get rid of.

Exercise Cycle and Treadmill
This is where the towel, jeans, shirts are hung when you are too lazy to hang them where they are supposed to be.

Yellow Pages
Ultimately used as a paper weight or in some cases, if they are fat enough, they could even make a little stool for the kids.

Extended Warranty
No one ever finds the need to call the company back to return a TV or Refrigerator because it stopped working in the middle of the night.

Gym membership
Arguably, this is one of the most common reasons for making New Year resolutions.

Self-Help Books, Travel guides, Cook Books
Who reads them?

Swiss Knife
Sole purpose: show people that you bought it, and keep it in a safe place; you may need it in case you are stuck in the middle of a rain forest, on your next adventure expedition.

Tea Coasters
Do you even remember where you last saw them in your house?

Wine Glasses
This is used once in a blue moon. By blue moon I mean decade.

Anything Water-proof
You never went deep sea diving because your watch is water proof, did you?