So much for Murphy's law - here is our very own "Burphy's" law

Burphy's Law

If there are chances that you’ll grow fatter this diwali, then probably, you will.

Burphy's law is an adage in our eastern culture that broadly observes how things go wrong during Diwali, even without us realizing that they did. Having said that, the knowledge of Burphy's law will not  help in any given undesired situation. And if you do apply Burphy's law, sadly it will no longer be applicable.

#10 – Feelings of regret while on the shitpot the following morning can only be attributed to the number of kaju & anjeer burphys you ate the night before.

#9 – The light you see at the end of the tunnel is actually a phuljhari.

#8 – The only thing that goes higher than a Diwali rocket is your budget for Diwali expenses every year.

#7 – How good you look in your newly bought clothes is directly proportionate to the chances of the fire cracker sparks lighting burns in it.

#6 – The first myth of Diwali is that it’s a festival of lights.

# 5 – The number of relatives in your house the day of the Laxmi pujan is directly proportionate to how successful you are as a human being.

# 4 – The amount of time spent in drawing the front door Rangoli varies directly with the chances of the neighborhood kids stepping on it.

# 3 – How good the current market conditions are can be judged by the thickness of the smog blanket on your city, the consecutive day after Diwali.

# 2 – The higher up you are, the more the happy diwali sms forwards you are rewarded with.

# 1 – Eco-friendly Diwali is an oxymoron.

Logic for Beginners - 1

If you honk out loud at a signal; all the cars in front of you wont suddenly give way to your highness. We, the lesser souls, are in a hurry too

If you don't know how to use something even after reading the instructions, then there is no point blaming  customer service! Self help is probably not what you are good at.

If there is nothing in the refrigerator, its better to look elsewhere instead of opening it again and again in anticipation of the freezer suddenly cooking up something for you!

If your car doesn't start, it does not necessarily mean that the neighbour's evil eye has made the battery flat!

Holding an electric guitar and lip synching to Anu malik's latest chart buster, doesn't make you a rock star of Indian cinema.

When at the movies, yelling loudly into the phone does not make your voice any clearer to the person calling you.

On twitter, by 'blocking' the user & protecting your own tweets, post the twitter argument, you are not proving that you won it!

By trying the same outfit 10 times and posing in front of the mirror, you will not look any prettier than you did the first time you tried it.

Asking the same question by simply re-framing the sentence, will not always yield a different answer.

Taking your best friend's dietitian's advice to skip the 8 pm meal, will not make you any slimmer than it would by not taking the advice at all.

Food prepared at home is not always much safer than restaurant food. The worms in the unwashed cauliflowers can cause more food-borne illness than Joshi wadevale's sweat induced vada pav.

By adding an extra letter to your name, & choosing a lucky number God wont come flying out of the skies suddenly, and grant you success.

Scoring higher than your colleague in an Online IQ test does not exactly make you a smarter than him/her and you will still have to slog it out for the promotion.