The Society of the Facebook and Twitter Conscious People

This might come off as a rant, and I have no regret if it does, or if you feel offended. Maybe, you should feel offended if you fit into the “Society of the FB and Twitter conscious people.” This society was formed the day some of you attention grabbing whores got together on the internet and took Facebook and then twitter to a whole new level. (Please note that Im not mentioning “orkut” here, because this whole post will become boring with the very mention of it.)

Since the advent of FB and twitter, the internet has become this huge social networking platform! Every website has those twitter and Fb logos. Anything you do on or off the internet can be published on your twitter or facebook profile! Everyone’s having fun, yes. Facebook is for networking. And Twitter is for bloggers who have grown out of the FB clutch apparently! The only difference between the two is the level of IQ between the user groups. FB, being used by the mentally challenged, ofcourse.

Picture this: Four friends. 2 girls and 2 guys. A famous pub in Pune. Music and Beer. As the beer intake is enhanced, there is a sudden increase in the number of digital camera flashes, damn it felt like a press conference with background retro music!  2 girls. 2 guys. 3 cameras. Holy mother of photography – they must have a shared over a 1000 pictures between them in less than 100 minutes – that makes it 10 pictures per minute. Guinness records, are you listening!?

O.k. Honestly, I don’t have a problem if you take a million pictures of your friends and add it to that album called good times of the past or whatever. I seriously don’t. Who am I to interfere with my opinions about your habits? But what im more concerned about is the motive behind the photography. What is it that you are doing here - is it just a photograph? A memory captured? Or really, a facebook moment that may some how elevate your current status on the networking site among your peers. Photography is an art. A Hobby, a way of life for some, and a passion to others, please don’t make a dick out of it this way! When the intention behind the photograph is only and only “facebook” - it makes you a part of the Society of the FB and Twitter conscious people. Here are some of the other behavioral and personality traits that the members of this society demonstrate. Now, im not asking you to agree or disagree to these points. They are merely my  observations.

-         You live off Facebook and twitter. Some part of your self-confidence and temporary happiness comes from Re-tweets, followers, and photo comments. Within this safe cocoon, you’re liked, appreciated and respected. Outside it, you’re an alarming shithead! To further elaborate this, there are some micro pointers listed below

a)      Your Twitter profile picture is the picture in which you have looked the best. Ever. Evaaargh!

b)      You change your FB display picture every 3-4 days. You change it, and then re-change it back as if, by changing it, some sad part of your life is actually going to change with it! Well, I have news for you – most of us don’t even bother looking at your new profile pictures, and it simply gets buried in our news feed!

c)      Before getting the 100 followers, you were a ‘nobody’ in your own eyes on the social websites. Infact, you followed a 110 to get the 100 followers!

d)      In reality, your sense of humor is not half as good as it is on these websites, thanks to Google ofcourse!

e)      If I were to see you at the station, in the class room or even in at my workplace, I wouldn’t even notice you as a YOU!

f)        You update us when you board the bus/train/ taxi/ airplane as if we are all somehow waiting to know where you are and eagerly anticipating your next move. The fact is, mostly, a response on these websites is generated only because there are other people out there just like you who want a response when they tweet about their Saturday night splurge or delayed flights! Get it?

g)      You feel compelled to @friend one of your followers who has mentioned @you in a tweet

h)      Birds of a feather flock together. Members of the Society of the FB and Twitter conscious people hang out together. They talk over the phone, and then write on each others wall as if writing on facebook walls were rapidly going out of style. Hell, I have even seen 2 girls tweeting their @nicknames while sitting opposite each other in the same restaurant! #Lame

i)        Your day doesn’t start until you update your tweeples with a good morning, and get a 100 tweet hugs back!

j)        Remove FB, Twitter and other social websites from the internet and you wont know what the internet is for in the first place. Without them social networking websites the internet solves no or very little purpose. Checking mail maybe.

k)      On similar lines, any internet work station that you get to access is first used to check the Fb and twitter updates. Then, follows the E-mail inbox.  

l)        You wake up in the middle of the night when your QWERTY phone buzzes to check who commented on your Fb profile picture, or @mentioned you!

-         You think those guys who follow you, post comments and like your photos, and status updates have a rather high opinion of you. Always remember Everyone on FB and twitter is a self-promoting lunatic!

-         You will die or atleast have a nervous breakdown if someone on the social media website insults you or pokes fun at your expense. OMG! You will not be able to sleep for nights unless you get back at them and ensure that your circle of fans have not lost “respect” for thee highness! Breaking News: you are a techno-anxious freak. You need to stop taking yourself so seriously on these social networking websites. No one cares what people here say or do. It’s the internet for crying out loud, anything goes. The internet is for porn, not for social networking! #fact

-         For real life problems, you find a way to involve your internet buddies by asking them for advice and also showing them how deep and thoughtful you are. 

You facebook and twitter conscious people make me want to strangle the living souls out of you. Beware, the next time you open your mouth to say "hey, let me click a snap and tag you on fb.." I might be on the next table, anonymously sipping on my beer and plotting my next murder victim! haaargh! 

Years before FB and twitter came into existence, some of us used to happily scan the internet meet some interesting people and have some very meaningful conversations about music, Movies books etc and grow with each others preferences, similar tastes, and likes. Now, FB, with the million posers & wannabe photo comment seekers, and twitter, with another million blogging losers who have spent more than half their life talking to their blogs, have both unified into a whole country of social networking leeches on the internet. They have impregnated the internet with the members of the Society of the FB and twitter conscious people!