So, what is hell, and how bad could it be?

If you’re happy and you know it please don’t clap, but you may want to stop reading this. Because what I’m about to present to you will probably seem extremely disturbing, or at least I hope it would.

What is heaven? Living in the clouds among angels? Large open green fields, lots of flowers attracting lots of butterflies, surrounded by a lot of mountains? A fully paid vacation that has the future potential of becoming the most liked photo album on your Facebook timeline? Or is it “right now” and in this moment while you’re reading this, and making it extremely ironic for yourself, so to say. Either way, there is only one way to find out. DIE!



But what if heaven and hell are nothing but words, and the only distance between the two is 40 other words in the dictionary?

But for the sake of this boring blog post, let's just assume that hell IS the spiritual realm of evil and suffering, and just in case you think your life isn’t hell already, let's consider the most probable ways in which life could get worse after you die.

Assuming that time is a constant, not in any particular order of severity, here are a few things they might make us do and for as many years as we lived our lives before we reached hell:

Walk… behind a lot of people who walk painfully slowly

Hangout… with people who end every sentence with a “and... what else?”

Sleep… in a room full of babies who incessantly throw tantrums, run around and cry.

Read… the terms and conditions documents of every insurance policy ever sold during the time that you were alive.

Dance… to Anu Malik and Pritam songs.

Talk… to customer service all the time.

Work… at a construction site, when it is 40 degrees outside.

Listen… to the sound of the first pull of a roll of duct tape, being played on-loop.

Eat… all the stuff that has a pineapple, dry-fruit and/or paneer topping.

Drive… in the fast lane, behind cars that are extremely slow.

Party… without alcohol, cigarettes and ..umm.. drugs.

Surf the internet… to connect with people who typ lyk ths, and don’t know the difference between your and you’re or lose and loose.

Travel… in overcrowded local trains, wherever you go.

Watch movies… but only those that have Zayed Khan in them.



Considering the fact that the word "hell" is most often used by most people to express their annoyance, my guess is that hell will be a lot like living your life with that feeling you get when your toenail hits a chair leg.